The Robot’s aunt died yesterday. Stomach cancer. Diagnosed only two weeks ago. Went in for a stubborn infection, found out it wasn’t healing because the cancer had already ravaged her body. There was nothing to do but ease her pain and watch her die. She was a good person and the family will miss her terribly. Before her death, she was taking care of her mother and a mentally unstable sister, so her death is a double tragedy for those two. Sometimes the blows just keep coming.

With so much going on, globally and personally, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’m not sure I’m not the only one right now thinking about life, the universe, and everything. In spite of how awful things are, I feel like I’ve gained a new focus on what I want my life to look like, and I’ve been forced to work hard on some lingering issues and anxieties.

I’ve also been putting more effort into self-care, and in the process I realized that this blog has become an important self-care tool. Writing soothes me and crowds out anxious thoughts. The blog motivates me to read more, finish projects, get out and do things so I have something to write about. Sometimes I use it to clarify my thoughts or vent tough emotions. When people take a moment to read and even comment, it gives me a lift and helps me feel connected, especially now that we’re all socially distant. I have a terrible memory, so sometimes I look back over the blog to remind myself of good moments when I’m feeling down.

I didn’t exactly set out to chronicle my self-care efforts. I just like to write, and I didn’t have anyone to share my spookier side with. Turns out that for me, spooky and soothing are often the same thing. Since I started the blog on a whim, I didn’t put much thought into the name. “Geek Goth Grotesquerie” just sounded fun. It doesn’t exactly fit what I ended up doing, though. Most “officially goth” blogs and YouTube channels spend a lot of time explaining and defining goth, and I never really cared about that. Having ‘goth’ in my blog title makes me feel weirdly like I should care, like I should be weighing in on trending goth topics instead of writing about Victorian novels and showing off knitting projects, so I’ve been thinking for a while about picking a new one.

Finally, I have. After a couple weeks of thought, I’m going with “Cauldron Comforts.” I’m not changing the actual blog address or anything so it shouldn’t have much affect on any of you reading, but I think it captures the spooky yet soothing vibe I love so much and conveys the “soothing hobbies and self-care” stuff I usually post about.

Anyway. I’m halfway through my Harry Potter sweater already and also halfway through a post about Louisa May Alcott’s “darker stories,” but all the other emergencies keep getting in the way. Including, this week, a funeral. But I’m coping. We’re all coping. And I really hope things are going better for all of you than they are for us. Good news would be a welcome thing.