Thousands of years ago, long before Christmas was invented, ancient Romans celebrated winter as a feast to Saturn. Normal work, even for slaves, was put on hold as candles were lit, gifts were given and sacrifices made to Saturn. Sometimes even masters waited on their servants and slaves and the lowest among us would become lord of the chaotic festival.

This is how I try to view the winter holidays, as a time to lay down my normally serious, cynical side and become for a few weeks the relaxed and lighthearted person I’m normally not. I trade my gothic novels and horror shows for sappy Christmas specials and cute stories I can share with the kids. I put up the Christmas tree and the Lego winter village and enjoy our Solstice feast. It’s a good way to reset myself mentally and spiritually and make sure my normal serious thoughtful side doesn’t dip into obsession and depression. But I’m having trouble laying it all down and embracing the season this year. I’m not in a very grateful and giving mood.

In spite of my gloomy mood, or maybe because of it, I thought I’d spend a moment focusing on what’s cheery so far this Yuletide season.

First up are the guinea pigs. This is what our youngest dearly wanted this year and she’s finally old enough to do most of the care herself. She had envisioned getting her guinea pigs on Christmas Eve but I was worried we wouldn’t find what she wanted so close to Christmas so we bought them early. She’s been bonding and getting them used to their new home. She named them Chess (black and white like chess pieces) and Mocha (with the brown patches) and they’re fast becoming best friends. Youngest is now expecting me to hang their pictures on our wall of family photos.

Aside from the guinea pigs we were planning on not buying many gifts this year, but thanks to several childless aunts and uncles and the kids’ saved allowances our minimal Christmas has gotten bigger.

It looks bigger than it is because a)none of us are into Santa anymore so everything just goes under the tree as it arrives and b)we’re too lazy to push the gifts all the way under the tree so every single thing is visible at the front. But it’s still way bigger than we’d intended. My decluttering side is freaking out, but the rest of me is touched that my siblings didn’t just buy gifts, but tried really hard to figure out what each of my kids might like. They all live pretty far away so they’ve been texting to ask what the kids are into lately.

Kids have been busy cruising thrift and antique shops looking for gifts for each other so most of that’s already wrapped and ready as well. I got Mr. Robot a couple of neat antique items as well, and in the process I found two sweet little jack-in-the-pulpit vases I just couldn’t resist for me. The store where I found them is basically a huge consignment shop with dozens of different sellers, so it’s amazing to find two rare matched vases from two totally different sellers. Thanks to my girls’ sharp eyes for finding the second one. They’re upstairs for now but once we finally, at long last, finish our reading nook downstairs I’ll probably move them there.

Everything else happy about this season is less material. Even though I’m crabby and burned out and not feeling the Yuletide joy, the kids are (mostly) getting along and their grades are good, Mr. Robot’s hand is healing nicely and he’s cleared to drive again, and I’m hoping that once school lets out and we start preparing our Solstice feast I’ll feel a little more excited for the season.

I’m also working on the “honorable mention” books from my gothic reading list, and if I’m lucky and get some time to myself between family gatherings I might be finished by New Years. Just in time to set myself a new project. 😉

I hope all of you are enjoying the Solstice season so far. Good luck and warm wishes from my cold, cold heart.